Idaho udaho

I guess its safe to say that now im an official idahoen. We have been here almost 5 months and dont plan on leaving soon. Walk away from only $250 rent and grandma living next door? phsaw right.

My yard squirrels have officially accepted me as mother peanut feeder. I used to really love them until they decided they like to come die in my yard. After seeing stiff dead squirrels on the lawn i cant really think they are cute anymore.

I really love idaho so far. It is the most family and kid friendly place i have ever been. Everyone here loves kids and pretty much every store has special carts for kids and most the restaurants offer kids menues to order right when you sit down so that the kids dont have to try not to be naughty as long. There are so many parks and fun places for the kids and not alot of crime. Best word to describe idaho? chill

When we got here our house was in need of some love. So naturally i redid the whole kitchen floor, painted cabinets, walls, livingroom, bedroom, re did whole bathroom floor, walls, cabinet, shower, etc. Its been so much fun. I will post pics when i can keep the rooms clean enough to take a picture.

We have geese i could kill next door. They bit sofi once and try to get a taste of nico everytime he gets to close. They also have chickens with babies that are so cute i want to die every time i see them running super fast across their yard. There are 2 other chickens i have never seen before this and they have extra fluff on their feet and bodies. So cute! Im having a cute attack. Their is a horse pasture down the street that has like 20 horses. I chose my favorite one and i call it horsy. Im not very creative.

Nico talks so much now. He knows the whole alphabet and kicks his little leg everytime he sees the letter K. k is for kick. ya he takes it litterally. Everytime we take him to play at micky Ds he tells us how fun it was for 3 hours after. He plays the playstation better then i do and can find me any movie on netflix. Love him.

Sofi does whatever nico tells her to do. They fight alot and she usually ends up biting him and then its over. She knows every word he knows and she likes to sing. They tell me to sing and if i sing the wrong song they shoosh me until i get the right one. Sofi wants to share everything with kayla and likes to sit on top of her. She loves to dance. Except for when i get a camera out and want to document her dancing. I guess she is a closet dancer for now.

Kayla is the cutest thing i ever made. Dimples. Sucks on her toes and blows bubbles all day. Little hands that i have to be careful with cause she will grab anything and sometimes i dont even get how she got something she is so quick. I dont ever want her to grow up. Or crawl. Or walk.

The only thing i miss about utah right now is family and hiking Y mountain. Other then that they have everything and more that i need right here. They even have a salsa club.

KAYLA SAMANTHA TAPIA

OCTOBER 25 2010

Planned, prepared, excited.

Until i got the shot.

I knew something was wrong the moment i couldnt feel my whole body and slowly couldnt feel my chest and arms.

" Is it normal to not feel my chest and arms?" i say

" o sure for us short people it is" idiot anethesiologist says

" ok," i think to myself. " just calm down and it will all be over soon..."

Then the unvoluntary jaw clenching started. Every time they moved my body i felt more of me go numb. My chest, my jaw, whats next my brain? i freak out at this thought.

" Is this normal?" i asked the casual doctors who were moving quickly to get the surgery going.

no answer... they were worried because of my excess bleeding....

" I cant stop clenching my jaw" i feel like i shouted this time as my anxiety became too hard to supress.

" oh thats probably just cause your nervous" my ob says in ignorance. Barely looking away from her work.

This is not normal. I cant stop clenching my jaw. I cant talk. im bleeding to much. im scared. i try to get words out to tell gaston to help me and it barely comes out in broken wispers. Im going to die i think to myself. Im being slowly paralyzed to death and no one even notices!!! I want to scream, get up and run away, or just die now out of fear.

baby comes out.

im happy but so litterally paralyzed and scared i cant even turn my head to look at her the first time they want to show her to me.

What is happening! i scream in my head. Gaston says " here she is honey,"

i want to turn, see my new angel , touch her, hold her, but i cant and all i can get out is " i...cant...." in struggled wisper. Gaston knows something is wrong.

They take baby away to get cleaned. I grasp gastons hand as hard as i can and he is scared. He has no idea whats going on behind my closed eyes.

Its ok i can handle this.

i ask gaston how much longer and sensing my fear he tells me "all most done."

i can handle this. ( wave of numbness and jaw clenching)

i can handle this (worse wave and more jaw clenching)

i cant feel my chest move when i breath.

I cant handle this.

" I...cant...stop...clenching...my...jaw..." i struggle to get out one last time begging for help.

" oh well i can give you a sedative if you want, but you wont remember anything...?" the anesthesiologist says

"give it to me!" is all i can say. what an idiot.

Slowly the effects ware off to where i can finally look up at gaston. "You ok?" he asks

i just want to cry.

Baby Kayla had been crying so i asked to see her.

Gaston brings her to me.

" hello my love!" i say to my tiny angel.

she stops crying at the sound of my voice and turns her face towards mine. She is beautiful. So beautiful. Curly black hair, white skin like mine, could be a triplet to my other 2 babies. I instantly love her.

She doesnt leave my side as im sewn up and wheeled to my room. As soon as the post delivery body shaking calms down i finally get to have her in my arms where she belongs.